Innovation Genaration

Gone are the days of calling cards, when as a proper lady you gave your calling card to the butler so that he in turn could give it to the lady of the house. Gentlemen on the other hand used their calling cards as silent expressions of the reason for their visit.

In those days, people would be properly announced when entering the home of the host and hostess of a dinner party. Gone too, are the Victorian dinner party etiquette manuals for hosting or attending such a dinner. Granted, those days had butlers and one spoke delicately about domestic solicitude, and when the servers took away plates and such, they moved as if they were wearing soft ballet shoes, so light was their touch and attitude as they moved noiselessly about. Guests on the other hand basically pretended that the domestics were not even there.

Today we no longer place any importance on the pretentiousness and rules that came with the Victorian era. It is much more important to make sure that all of the guests and the hosts are relaxed and comfortable, easily enjoying the food and company that the host has lovingly prepared with their own hands. Etiquette is just as important as it was during the olden days but are we as prepared as our ancestors as to what those rules are?

Sending out a dinner party invitation used to mean that it had to be engraved, and accepting one meant that you RSVPd back in writing as well. Today, it is still not quite good etiquette to send a dinner party invitation via email, though it seems as if even this custom is dwindling.

The Victorian era also required that the dress attire of men and women be the finest gowns and suits to attend a dinner party. Today you will find that most parties are opting for a more casual dress code. The etiquette for your clothing has evolved but it is still in place. The lack of knowledge of the new etiquette for today’s social occasions does not excuse you from breaking the rules.

The social etiquette in the past were very simple to adhere to. The rules were very specific in regards to a requirement or not for bringing a hostess gift and how. Protocol and the correct manners also addressed situations such as the correct window of time for arriving and departing a dinner party and the rules of behavior while in a hosts home. Gentlemen knew the requirements on how to conduct yourself with a lady that included pulling the lady’s seat out before sitting themselves. A lady also knew which cutlery to use for each course and how to correctly fold your napkin. Today our social rules are more open and vague but do not neglect to learn the current rules or think that they have been abolished all together.

The act of a man standing when a lady rises from the table is not an outdated custom and still considered polite today. An area of custom that was never part of the etiquette rules are how we address technology. When entering a host’s home it is polite to turn off your ringer of all cell phones and only accept emergency phone calls. If you are expecting a potential emergency call it is polite to inform your host upon your arrival. Keeping your phone on vibrate in case of potential issues with babysitters is acceptable but keep in mind that should a call come in during your dinner party you are required to excuse yourself to a private location and not take the call in the presence of others.

Hosts need to be as ready as possible, anticipating that the food service will be taken care of properly, and if you need to adjust whats being served for special diets, do it graciously. Neither host nor guest should ever drink to excess.

Everyone commits a social blunder or faux pas every once in awhile. The trick when an error occurs is not to allow it to ruffle your feathers but instead make amends quickly and then move on with the occassion. Maintaining good manners as a guest will ensure that your social calendar is constantly being added to and you can enjoy all social occasions without any stress or worry.